What would it be like to live in a body, that held no baring on your ideas of self worth, self importance, or Self in general?
What if you could allow your body to be as it is, to see it as a gift, as a much needed important part of this life you are living, without the idea that it somehow is a reflection of your value?
What if you could never again look at your body with judgement? You could not call it good, you could not call it bad. You just saw it as it was, had peace and moved on?
There are a lot of posts floating around out there right now centring around self love, body love, “fit is the new skinny”, woman should love their curves and so on. We are being told that these are messages of self empowerment, of female empowerment, and perhaps they are. Perhaps they are just what some people need to begin to take the pressure off of themselves, off of their bodies, and to move in the direction of self acceptance.
I may be the only one, but to me, these messages are really just the same messages that we have been being fed for decades, just dressed up a a little differently. I feel that these posts still put out an expectation of how a woman should be, how she should feel about her body, and just changes the ideal body, as opposed to wiping out the notion that there is a particular way to look that every woman (and man) should try to model themselves after. Many feel badly that they cannot love their bodies, they berate themselves that they struggle with self hate. They are upset that they are not toned and fit like the images that they see.
What if it were possible for us to live without any sort of Ego attachment to our bodies. If we could live in our bodies and never have the thought that if we did not measure up to some physical ideal of beauty (which is fully objective and changes all the time anyway), that we were then less. What if we could never again compare our body to the body of someone else, deeming one more attractive, more prized, more beautiful than the other.
It is the Ego that tells us that what is on the outside matters. The Ego is the one that is looking for approval, looking to be deemed good, looking for reward for being. The Ego is the one that feels elated when someone tells you that you are beautiful, and the one that is crushed when you are told you are fat. It is not you. So what would living Ego free look like?
To me, living in an ego free body means that we would look upon our bodies as the ideal parent would look at their child. That child is naturally a part of the parent, and at the same time the child is separate. We would embrace our bodies with the unconditional love that cannot be explained, because we would realize that these bodies are a precious gift, one that we have been blessed with the opportunity to care for, and to learn about.
We would look at our bodies and have curiosity and wonder. We would sit with our bodies, as a parent would sit with a child, and learn what makes them tick. We would realize that each body, just like each child, is different. They all have different ways in which they function, different needs, different rhythms, different cycles. We would give up the notion that all bodies should act the same, that if you do x and y you will get Z, because just as with children, we know that this is not the case.
We would view our bodies as an important tool for learning, for our progression in this life. We would realize that we will not be in these bodies forever, that we were given our specific body for a specific reason, and we would know that the more harmoniously we can live within them, the more harmonious our lives will be.
I believe if we could look at our bodies without ego, we would have no other option but to fully and completely love and accept them, just as they are, all the time. If you had never been told that there was something fundamentally un-attractive, and therefore WRONG with your body, because we all know being unattractive is the biggest sin one can commit, do you think that you would ever have come to that conclusion on your own? I don’t.
When I look at babies staring at themselves in the mirror, I see that they love what they see. I have watched small children sit in front of the mirror for hours mumbling to their reflection, acting as though they have found a long lost beloved friend. Sure you could argue that this is not self love, that the baby does not know it is looking at its own self, and thus means nothing. But I feel this proves my point even farther. They have no attachment to the reflection in the mirror. They have not identified their worth as having anything to do with the image they are seeing, and they are not repulsed. They LOVE what they see. Let us keep in mind here that babies, by definition, are fully opposite to an adults ideal of beauty. They are generally chubby, with big round cheeks, rolls on their legs and arms and big pot bellies. They have short hair that sticks in all directions. They drool. They poop themselves. They cannot perform any acts of strength or stamina. Because of their bodies they are fully dependant on their care givers to live. And yet, love. If an adult were to be faced with that image, I doubt they would feel so warmly.
How we perceive our bodies is a learned behaviour. Which is great because that means we can unlearn it.
So pretend with me for a moment that you had never been taught that there was anything wrong with your body. Pretend that you had never been taught that how you look has an effect on your value. You are You. Perfect, whole, unchanging, all knowing, pure, source. Because, at the end of the day, believe it or not, that IS what you are. You are not your body. Your body is a collection of molecules that have come together to create a temple for you to live in whilst you are here. Human experience is impossible for you without your body. You need it. When your time in this life is done, you are going to return all those molecules back to the earth, where they came from, and they are going to go on to become something else. You are borrowing the molecules of your body, plain and simple.
That being said, you have implanted elements of your essence into the cells, into the molecules that make up your body. This means that You are able to communicate with them, because they contain little bits of your Spirit. This is not wishy washy thinking here, this is scientific fact, the brain body connection is real. Energy, thoughts, words have the power to shift the physical body.
With that knowledge, I feel that it is not a matter of “learning to love and accept your body.” I don’t know that that will ever work. I feel the real work here is learning to stop attaching your worth and your value to what you see in the mirror. It is learning to see that You are You. Nothing can change Your value, because there is nothing on earth that has given You Your value. You were born being equally as important as every other being on this planet. It is your birth right to fully love, accept, and KNOW your Self. Again, your value was not given, and it cannot be questioned.
Thus, being that the body is of the earth, it cannot strip or add value to You.
Your body is a gift. If you can realize that it is here to help You, not to hinder You, that it holds messages and keys and lessons within it, You will find a place of peace. If you can look at it as a partner, You will change how you feel about it, how You treat it, and how it treats You.
When You live in an ego free body, You are highly intuitive. You receive messages from Your body about your environment, the people around You, even future scenes can come to You kinetically. You feed Your body with the food it needs, and this is never a question or a debate. There is never guilt or shame or turmoil here. You move your body with joy and freedom. You use Your body to express what is going on in Your soul. You love with your body, ache with Your body, Your body expresses Your anger, Your sadness, Your peace. Your body is the interface between you and the rest of the spirits living here. You interpret dis-ease as a message, not a punishment. You see that Your body never makes you intentionally unwell, but is instead a reflection of some other imbalance, either within or without. You will know how to turn in, and how to heal Your Self.
The real challenge here is to let go of the drama, the rewards we get from the dramas of attaching ourselves to our bodies. We find identity in being ill. We find comfort and familiarity with always having a weight issue. I know many will not like to hear this, but there are just stories that we weave for ourselves. There are deeper truths to be unearthed, but we choose to distract ourselves through the drama of body identification.
So do not love your body. Love your Self. Know your Self. Get to know your body. In doing so, the love will come, because you are love. When you know who you are, you will have no other option but to love yourself, and all that comes with you.
I am speaking to my Self, as much as I am speaking to anyone. Writing is cathartic for me. If it is for you, feel free to share your thoughts with me. I would love to hear from your Self.